EP: 006 Stop Pitch Slapping & Puking
Stop Pitch Slapping: Why LinkedIn Sales Tactics Are Killing Your Revenue
I get probably five to seven LinkedIn connection requests every week, and here's the thing that drives me absolutely insane: I can predict exactly what's coming next.
As a fractional sales leader who's worked with hundreds of sales teams over the past 20 years, I've seen every trick in the book. But nothing—and I mean nothing—irritates me more than what I call "pitch slapping." And its equally destructive cousin: the "show up and throw up" sales approach.
If you're guilty of either of these toxic behaviors, you're not just failing to close deals. You're actively destroying your reputation and giving the rest of us in sales a bad name.
Let me break down exactly what's happening and why it needs to stop.
The LinkedIn Pitch Slap Epidemic
Here's the pattern I see 5-7 times per week, and it's so predictable I could set my watch by it:
Step 1: Someone I don't recognize starts liking multiple posts on my LinkedIn profile—not just one or two, but seven or eight different posts within minutes of each other.
Step 2: They leave a couple of generic comments. Nothing thoughtful or specific, just surface-level engagement designed to get my attention.
Step 3: Within hours (sometimes minutes), I get a connection request with some variation of: "I came across your profile and found some interesting things you do" or "We have several mutual connections."
Step 4: The moment I accept (if I'm foolish enough to do so), I get hit with a pitch. No conversation. No relationship building. Just straight product dumping in my DMs.
Here's what these people don't realize: This isn't relationship building. It's relationship destroying.
Why I Set My Profile to "Follow" (And You Should Too)
I've learned to protect myself from this nonsense. My LinkedIn profile defaults to "follow" instead of "connect." If someone wants to engage with my content, they can follow me. If they want to go deeper and actually connect, they need to click through the "more" options and send a connection request.
This simple filter weeds out 90% of the lazy pitch slappers.
But here's where it gets really infuriating: When I do occasionally accept a connection request, I send a genuine welcome message. I ask thoughtful questions like:
What made you hit connect instead of just follow?
What sets your heart on fire?
Tell me about yourself and what you're passionate about.
You know what happens? They completely ignore every single question and launch straight into their sales pitch.
When that happens, I channel my inner Mark Cuban: "You didn't answer any of my questions. You didn't ask me any questions. You showed up with a product dump that I'm not interested in, nor can I use. For those reasons, I'm out."
Then I delete the connection. Every single time.
The Corporate Sales Disaster That Still Makes Me Cringe
But LinkedIn pitch slapping isn't the only toxic behavior plaguing our industry. Let me tell you about one of the most painful sales meetings I've ever witnessed.
I was working as a VP of Field Sales Development, and one of our top performers—someone who had been with the company for years and consistently ranked in the top three—was absolutely ecstatic. He'd been trying to get a meeting with a particular prospect for three years, and finally got his foot in the door.
We had 30 minutes. This was his moment.
What happened next was a masterclass in how to destroy a relationship in record time.
The Show Up and Throw Up Disaster
The moment we sat down, this salesperson launched into what I can only describe as "showing up and throwing up." He was nervous, talking a mile a minute, and proceeded to dump not one, but two metaphorical bags of products all over this prospect's desk.
"We have this, and we have this, and we have this product, and this thing is new, and we can help you with this, and we can do that..."
I watched the prospect's eyes glaze over. He went from engaged to completely checked out in under five minutes. Head nodding with polite "mm-hmms" and "uh-uhs," but clearly overwhelmed and disinterested.
When the salesperson finished his first product dump and asked if there were any questions, the prospect—completely overwhelmed—said, "Nope."
So what did our salesperson do? He launched into round two.
More products. More features. More overwhelming information that had absolutely nothing to do with what this prospect actually needed.
With five minutes left in our scheduled 30-minute meeting, the prospect looked at his watch and said, "Actually, I've got a hard stop and need to prepare for a call."
Meeting over.
The Painful Post-Meeting Reality Check
As we walked back to the car, this salesperson was pumped. He was excited. He thought the meeting had gone great because he'd "covered everything."
When he asked how I thought it went, I walked him through what he'd accomplished: talking about this product, and this product, and this product.
Then I asked the killer question: "What do you think your potential client wanted to know about? What do you think he needed? What do you think his pain points were?"
I watched the light bulb go off above his head.
"F*ck. I didn't ask any questions."
"No," I said, "you didn't. And I'm going to bet that you're never going to get in to talk to this guy again."
To my knowledge, he never did. And that person never became a client.
Why Relationships Matter More Than Products
Here's what both of these stories illustrate: Sales is a relational business, and relationships take work, time, and effort.
If you can't—or won't—do that work, please get the hell out of sales. I'm sorry if that sounds harsh, but you're giving the rest of us a bad name.
Time is the only thing we truly have that is sacred. If someone agrees to spend their valuable time with you, you owe it to them (and to yourself) to do your homework.
The Two Ears, One Mouth Philosophy
We have two ears and one mouth for a reason: Use the ears more and the mouth less.
Here's what proper sales preparation looks like:
Before the meeting:
Research beyond their LinkedIn profile
Check out their website and recent company news
Look for nonprofit organizations they support
Find common connections who might provide insights
Prepare thoughtful questions about their challenges, not your solutions
During the meeting:
Lead with curiosity, not your product catalog
Take notes (and tell them you're doing so)
Ask about their greatest challenges and fears
Listen for what's NOT being said
Embrace silence—your prospect may need time to process
After the meeting:
Follow through on every promise you make
Send materials when you said you would (or earlier)
Reference specific things they told you
Focus on their needs, not your quotas
The Questions That Actually Matter
Instead of launching into your product pitch, try asking:
"What are the greatest challenges you're facing right now?"
"What are your biggest fears about [their industry/situation]?"
"What are you seeing in the marketplace that concerns you?"
"What offerings would make a difference for you that your current vendors aren't providing?"
"What's the one thing you can't find in the market that would be a game-changer?"
You may get through an entire meeting without talking about a single product, feature, or service you offer. And that's perfectly fine.
If you've been genuinely curious and truly listened to that person, it's amazing what you'll learn. Sometimes the best sales meetings end with you realizing you're not the right fit—and referring them to someone who is.
The LinkedIn Alternative That Actually Works
Instead of the pitch slap approach, try this:
Research thoroughly before engaging with anyone's content
Add thoughtful, specific comments that show you actually read and understood their post
Engage consistently over time rather than binge-liking everything at once
Ask questions about them before ever mentioning what you do
Build genuine relationships that benefit both parties
Remember: People can smell automation and insincerity from a mile away. If you're using templated messages, mass connection requests, or automated sequences, you're not building relationships—you're building resentment.
Your One Match Challenge
As we work through this journey of striking the match for sales transformation, here's my challenge for you:
Pick one thing you can change right now:
Can you listen more than you speak in your next sales conversation?
Can you prepare one genuinely thoughtful question before your next meeting?
Can you leave your laptop and demo materials in the car and focus on learning about your prospect first?
Can you spend 10 minutes researching your next LinkedIn connection before reaching out?
Whatever it is, strike that match. Because when you approach sales with genuine curiosity and respect for relationships, everybody wins.
And remember: Fire always wins.
Ready to transform your sales leadership approach? As a fractional sales leader, I help overwhelmed executives build thriving sales teams without sacrificing their time or sanity. Schedule a discovery call to learn how 8 hours of focused leadership per week can transform your results.